Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Thanks to the Supreme Court's decision, corporations are now free to contribute unlimited amounts of money to American political campaigns. Even if those corporations are owned by foreign nationals.

On a 5-4 decision (extra points if you can name the four sane members), the Court ruled that corporations have the right to free speech.

That's why Murray Hill Inc has decided to run for congress.

According to its campaign manager, William Klein, "We believe in privatizing gain and socializing risk. So if we have a problem, we want the government to keep bailing us out, so we can keep all the money. Corporations are people too, the Supreme Court proved that."

Right. Just like Reagan proved that deficits don't matter. So if a corporation has the same rights as citizens, does that extend to the right to bear arms?

"Absolutely," says Klein. "We think that corporations should be armed and dangerous."

But what about being a part of a well-regulated militia?

"Is there any militia more regulated than American corporations?"

I still have a problem with this. It seems that corporations want to eat their cake and have it too. Should the recipient of bailout money be held accountable?

"No, corporate well-being supersedes all government policy. The heavy hand of government only gets in the way."

Mr Klein elaborates on this point of view during an interview on MSNBC.

By the way, my business happens to be incorporated. And even though it's not owned by foreign nationals, I plan to channel torrents of cash into the next election cycle...

just as soon as I make some money.

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